[the above takes great dexterity of the hands to accomplish. before attempting you need:
-an organic lemon, somewhat ripe (squeeze gently, rub your hand across the surface of the skin to feel the texture, examine the skin surface. there shouldn't be any green, the dimpled surface of the lemon should not be stiff, but an overly ripe lemon might leave some overly ripe residue on your hands as well, which is inadvisable).
-a one-gallon bowl (glass, dishwasher safe).
-a square washing cloth (white, tightly woven).
-a knife (recently sharpened, wooden handle, blade 3-4 1/2 inches, not serrated).
-a cutting board (wooden, unstained).
process:
slice the lemon (hereafter referred to as X^1) into two equally sized halves with your knife on your cutting board (see figure below). take care to minimize the drippage of the juices from the lemon, as you will be needing every last drop for this process. take the first half of X^1 and squeeze firmly repeatedly until the juices of X^1 are all transferred into the bowl (hereafter referred to as X^2). wipe any X^1 residue off of your hands (hereafter referred to as X^3) with your cloth (hereafter referred to as X^4). return to the second half of X^1 and resume your process of repeated firm squeezing, again making sure all of the contents end up inside of X^2. use X^4 to clean off X^3. take the now shriveled remains of X^1 and dispose of them. next put X^3 into X^2, and take X^3 into and out of X^2 until well saturated with the contents. rub X^3 for thirty seconds to a minute until well lubricated, then repeat the process described in the previous sentence. when completed the supply of X^2 should be exhausted. make sure to clean up using X^4. put X^2 into the washer overnight, then check early in the morning to make sure it hasn't cracked. provided everything goes according to plan, you should be able to leave the scene undisturbed and go about your daily routine without distruption. enjoy your life. \oh/]
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